"Grow, I command you!", a photo by Leenechan on Flickr.

...even though she was! XD

Here's my reward for reaching my eighth writing goal, Dead Tired Cleo de Nile. I only had to write twelve pages for her, but it felt like a lot because I've started using a college-ruled notebook.

I'm thinking of taking a week off from writing. I've been working non-stop since January 27th! I've written about 200 handwritten pages, which typed up I'm guessing is about 80 or 90. I'm having a hard time making grammatical sentences, and I'm constantly having to dig into my thesaurus to avoid using the same adjectives over and over and over... It's only natural that I'd start to burn out after a while.

I think I need to refresh myself with a good book. I don't remember the last time I've read one of those!

Cream Cheese Brownies from Baking Illustrated., a photo by Leenechan on Flickr.

So much more affordable than paying $40 for a custom box of Munson's chocolates!

I've been cooking for almost 15 years, and this was the first time I ever made homemade brownies. I probably screwed up the cheesecake swirl, but the brownies are moist, chocolatey and very, very rich. They also keep for 5 days in the refrigerator, which is pretty awesome.

I've written five pages toward my next goal. This goal is a cheap one, so expect to see a new doll soon! I bought her on sale because not many people like her, but hey, I think she's rather cute.

I finished potting all my vegetables, finally! They're all sitting outside on the top of the metal alcove that leads into our basement (our best escape route in case of a natural disaster). Since I fertilized them with Neptune's Harvest, a disturbing fish-scented breeze is wafting in through the windows. :O

Fun Fact: Eggplant are particularly susceptible to soil-born diseases. It's actually better for them to be grown in pots.

I know that they're harmless, but I'm alarmed by the amount of crane flies bouncing around outside our house lately. You know, those bugs that look like giant mosquitoes? They're actually in the same family as daddy long legs. They don't bite, but they sure are ugly!

About my poppies...I should have just dumped the seeds into one of the gardens and taken my chance with the birds. You can't really sow them inside in pots. I got a free packet of Pink Confection fringed poppies from Select Seeds, and I just threw them into the side garden with the strawberries. Most of the seeds have already germinated, and they look like they're going to take. I have been a fool. Unfortunately, Pink Confection belongs to the class of Weird Poppies that aren't that pretty in my opinion. I'm hoping that the breadseed poppies I have coming in a few weeks will flourish and reseed themselves. Lauren's Grape in particular is quite beautiful.

I made a strange discovery in my front border this weekend when I was watering Pink Delight. A sunflower seedling, in the beginning of May! XD I didn't even plant it! I have no idea where it came from. I did try to grow sunflowers there last year, but all the sprouts got eaten. I've never heard of a sunflower failing to germinate the first summer, only to come up the following spring. This is really odd. Maybe it's a good omen? I hope the birds leave it alone...

On the writing front...well, I've been writing again. I've been having a hard time, for a very stupid reason. Somehow I managed to poke a microscopic hole in the thumb of one of the rubber gloves I wear when I wash the dishes (which I do frequently and fun-ly, everything that doesn't fit in the dishwasher). The little water that's been leaking through the glove and wetting my right thumb has made the skin all red and cracked. It hurts like hell to hold a pen! I have a new pair of gloves now, but it's going to take some time to heal. Maybe it never will...;_; It's thanks for my predisposition to this type of skin problem that I can hardly ever knit.

I've been working on my character surveys, which are turning out to be more like character "bibles." I'm noticing that there are some characters that I love to write about, and others that I don't. I'm not sure if this is a failing on my part. I'm not the kind of person to fall in love with antagonists. A small masochistic part of me might admire certain narcissists from afar because of what they've accomplished, but when it comes down to it, jerks are jerks. I enjoy writing about people with human flaws, but if there's no gentleness inside them, I have a hard time falling in love with them. I don't mind characters who are hard and demand things from themselves as well as from other people. Is it really so bad to admit that you're writing and a novel and while you've worked hard to make the characters into human beings, some of them have become human beings that you don't particularly like? I can list a few personality disorders that are linked to people I don't like. Narcissistic, for one, and Borderline. I can forgive Avoidant and Dependent, because they only harm themselves (and I have some of those traits myself). Histrionic people drive me nuts, but sometimes I feel bad for them. I guess it's only natural that I would start assigning disorders to characters in my writing. I just don't think it would be right to start correcting these "flaws" just because it would make me not want to hang out with them. Everyone has a right to exist in the world, even if they are jerks...

I've managed to put an end to a few things this week. I don't know if I'm the kind of person who feels better after finishing a project or starting a new one. I have a bad habit of dropping the ball on a lot of projects, so when I finish one I feel a sense of accomplishment. At the same time, I have such a hard time finding motivation sometimes that when I'm involved with something that really clicks with me when I finish I feel like something just died. That's kind of the way I feel right now.

Like dandelion fluff blowing in the breeze. XD

For starters, I finally finished writing the rough draft of Chapter Five of my novel a few days ago. Before any of you start thinking that I'm just a great big slacker, I have to point out that Chapter Five took up an entire composition notebook, minus a few pages for extra notes in the middle. It's going to be quite a task to revise all that work. Sometimes revising is fun, though--like fixing up a new house. At this point I don't think the writing is terrible...maybe it's okay. I've read a lot of books that were okay, but not terrible. You can still get a lot out of an "okay" book, but when you're writing it yourself you have a responsibility to yourself and your future readers to make the okay parts as good as the great parts. Sometimes it's tempting to rush it out, especially when you're looking for acceptance and validation. I've always found it to be a big mistake to let other people read my first draft. I won't even let Kristen read my first draft, and I rely on her imput to make Draft Two into Draft Three.

Well, at least for the time being. It was so cool last night that I was able to sleep with the AC off and the window open. Ah, it was bliss. I swear I'm like a tulip bulb. I can't sleep well and wake rejuvenated unless I'm properly chilled. Ideally, the outside temperature should be in the mid-forties, and the inside temperature should be about 64 degrees F. Now that it's August, I can look forward to at least a couple of nights in the mid-to-upper fifties...

A couple of nights ago, I saw a hummingbird drinking from my cosmos. That sight made all my effort worth it. The bachelor's buttons are continuing to bloom. It looks like most of them are going to be dark blue-violet. I think that's the traditional color for bachelor's buttons, so no surprise there.

The sunflowers haven't officially bloomed yet. I can tell already that when they do they're going to be monstrous. XD

It looks like the new butterfly bush (Miss Ruby)I planted two weeks ago is going to bloom this year. The first one (Nanho Purple) is still flowering vigorously. I never thought much of butterfly bush in the past, but I'm really impressed with that plant. It's been blooming non-stop since the end of May.

On the gaming front, I'm still playing Ys Seven. The boss fights are absolutely insane, but it's loads of fun. I like the fact that you have to get used to using all the characters, not just Adol, because certain enemies are only weak to certain characters' weapons. You end up really bonding with all the characters. ^o^ I find myself having to use Aisha a lot, even though she's not that good.

I'm still reading Frankenstein...slowly. I read because I like to, and because it improves my writing, but sometimes I think that the real reason I read is so I can have something to talk about with my older brother when he visits. If I didn't work diligently at building this common ground our few conversations would devolve into us complaining about certain family members. Then everyone would walk away in a bad mood. I hate to think it's taken me this long to realize that by cutting myself off from everything but my own narrow area of interest, I would wind up as a lousy conversationalist who drains people with my negativity...but hey, I think I'm starting to learn. Sometimes you have to watch American Idol.

I'm having some difficulties with writing. I'm having a hard time concentrating... probably because I was anticipating another storm day this past Thursday. But I survived.

I finally finished Chapter Four of my novel tonight. I think I can afford to call it a "novel" rather than a "story" at this point. It's 136 pages as of today. XD Sometimes I worry that I'm overwriting, but then I remember that Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell was over 800 pages long. I'm not aiming to write a monster book. I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably going to have to split the story into 3 or 4 books that are about 350 pages long. I'm trying to be concise, but I feel that I have a lot to tell.

I still haven't finished Anna Karenina. My God, I swear that book has been growing pages. At first I thought it was 850 pages, then I was sure it was 920 pages. Now I flip to the end and find out that it's actually 944 pages!! Come on! The titular heroine is out of the picture--the story is over! I don't need to read any more about Levin's spiritual struggle or agriculture in relationship to the Russian peasant. No disrespect to Tolstoy. Honestly, I think most of the book is great, but enough is enough now. I want to read something else...I still have 20 pages to go. =_=

I finished Atelier Totori a few days ago. Considering how much I disliked Rorona and the other recent entries in the series, I actually enjoyed Totori quite a bit. What a surprise! The game did have bugs (it froze on me in the first ten minutes of playing, but never again) I was thankfully able to complete the game without having to wait for a patch. With the aid of a half-completed Japanese FAQ, I managed to get the two-year extension and earn the Normal Ending. Not the perfect playthrough, but at least I didn't have to hang my head in shame!

I never thought I'd play a game with multiple endings without the help of a complete FAQ. I have an irrational fear of earning bad endings in video games! All's well that ends well, I guess. I'll probably play the game again in a couple of months. I hear the True Ending's nearly impossible to earn, but I still feel I have more juice to squeeze out of this plum...

So...my series ranking up until this point, out of the games I've played, is: Violate>Lilie>Totori>Elie>Marie>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Rorona>Annie>Judie

My cherry tomatoes are starting to ripen. I never thought I'd see the day.

Today's a little cooler than yesterday, even though I heard it was going to be warmer. I'm going to have to do some yard work--I'm having a hard time shooting pictures around the weeds! I know it seems like I'm just a lazy ass, but I'm living in a small split-level ranch house on almost an acre of land. I love having a yard like a small park, but sometimes I really envy people with tiny, manageable lots that they can plan meticulously and create romantic, themed gardens. We just have to find plants that grow wild and let them take over. Also, our yard has so many nooks and crannies that we always have a resident groundhog. ;_;

So, I watched almost all of What's the Matter With Helen? last night. For a horror movie, it's only slightly scary, with only enough gore to qualify it for a PG-13 rating. Still, it gave me a nightmare last night. I suppose it's the better movie in the double-feature, but it lacks the god-awful hilarity of Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?. Still, five dollars for two movies is pretty good!

I've been re-reading Jane Yolen's Sister Light, Sister Dark this weekend. I like the book a little less with the second reading. I'm always ambivalent about books centering on a strong political theme (this one, like many of Yolen's books, being feminism). Regardless of whether or not I agree with the author's views, I find that books written specifically to push an ideal usually sacrifice character development. As I read, I keep thinking, well, if you're sure you have all the answers and you just want to share them, what's the point of writing this as a novel? I guess every writer has their reason for writing. Jane Yolen is a feminist scholar and folklorist--almost all her books are either about exploring set traditions and putting a feminist spin on common tales. I know there's nothing wrong with that, but as a reader and writer more interested in the workings of the human psyche and how people relate to each other, I find her writing to be kind of dry...

I tried a pastry from a French-Austrian bakery in New Haven called Marjolaine; it was a free-form berry tart with a surprising amount of vanilla custard filling. It was probably the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. I am very picky. I think I should give up on dessert-making and leave it to the professionals!