^o ^.....Frittering My Time Away.

[leene_chan]

Sometimes I think that writing makes me into a crazy person. Ideas for fragments of scenes have been popping into my head at the strangest times. I'm always scared to death I'll forget them. I haven't done this in a long time but there have been occasions when I've stumbled out of the shower and had to write down my thoughts down on a piece of toilet paper with eyebrow pencil. Just how bad am I expecting my memory to be?? It's fun to be excited but I hate the idea that people I'm close to might think I'm morphing into a pretentious weirdo. A few nights ago I caught myself droning on to my mother about how I can't see myself publishing a book until I'm at least 35 because it's just so much work and there are enough bad novels out there, blah blah blah, I feel bad that I didn't write enough when I was younger but I was too immature back then and I probably would have produced nothing but garbage, blah blah blah...and there she was staring at me with a weird smile on her face. Why do I go on these tirades like I expect people to care about my "creative process?" O_O....

I reached the Dragon Palace in Chapter 3 with my posse of Alicia, Rufus, Roland and Farant. I tried leveling up Dylan and Aluze to replace Roland but I can't do it. He's kicking too much ass! This dungeon carries all sorts of nostalgia from the original VP and it's not all pleasant. I really hope there isn't a part where a statue chases you around a room and teleports you to hell if it touches you, please, God, nooooooo! At least the BGM is cool. For once.

My party members are all around level 35. I'm probably overleveled but that suits me fine. I suck at video games and I need all the help I can get!

I just found a sealed stone that gives experience to even the non-active characters. Woo hoo! Time to rack up an even more unfair advantage!

Comments

[tsubasahome.livejournal.com]

I think Mom has a real problem with listening to people. If you told her the drapes were on fire I think she wouldn't notice until half the house was burned down.

You and me both wrote plenty when we were younger. It may have been garbage but it was fun, and at least we got the self-indulgent stuff out of our systems at a young age.

[leviosa8.livejournal.com]

It was REALLY FUN!! And it was good.
I passed my University access English test thanks to you both!

[leene-chan.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! ^_^

I have a lot of fond memories of lying awake at night, laughing and joking with Kristen about what would happen next in the Epic Captain Tsubasa story. I hope that some day I'll have as much fun writing original work! That really is my dream. I don't have any regrets about that story and if our house caught on fire I'd definitely be saving all those handwritten books first!

But as for the really bad stuff, I've never showed it to anyone but Kristen. I wrote most of it when I was in junior high and I think it has no right to exist!

[leviosa8.livejournal.com]

I would do the same: take the notebooks and papers and leave everything else!
I have considered it seriously. And the day ofthe mini-earthquake here, that is the first thing I packed.

I showed stuff I shouldn't have, as it was half done, and shown to people who couldn't help me improve. But what's done is done, and the damage, I hope, was minimal ^^ like the gains.

[leviosa8.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. I am like you taking notes in the most unconvenient moments. Like badly keeping the balance in a toilet seat at my second University XD I just wish I could write a book that *I* enjoyed throroughly. Even if it never gets published while I am alive. Or ever.

There are so many novels out there I don't like or give a damn about. Why not write one I do? That's my motto!

[leene-chan.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way! I don't know if I'll ever be published but I want to write it anyway. If it can at least entertain a few friends it would be worth it. Maybe I'm just interested in creating a world I can hide in. If there's truth in it too that readers can relate to, and other people can hide in it as well, I'll believe I've done a good job. ^_^;...

I figure that even if I'm not a great writer, I know what it's like to be sorely disappointed in a book. I also know what it's like to love a book so much it becomes a companion. Even though those books are rare. I'm constantly hunting! ^o^

[leene-chan.livejournal.com]

That's true but then I think that whenever my mother starts talking about cardiac cases and putting leads and catheters and stents(?)in people my eyes probably glaze over the same way. Sometimes she says "I wish I could be creative like you," and other times she says she has no idea why I'd want to do the things I do. Not so much writing, because I don't usually share that with her, but the sewing and knitting. She doesn't understand why I would feel excitement going into a bookstore or craft store. I guess it's hard because I think she has a tough life and I try to let her talk about herself a lot to make up for it, but I realize that I can't share much with her. Our brains are wired differently, I guess.

Sometimes I think that the worst part of being a shy person without a big social network is that you try to squeeze too much out of the people you have.